5 Things Your Therapist Wants You to Know

5 Things Your Therapist Wants You to Know

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‍Do you have questions about therapy or worry about what your therapist might think about you? If so, you are not alone.  Below are 5 things that might be helpful to know if you are considering trying therapy for the first time.  

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1) Confidentiality is Key

The thought of telling a stranger your deepest and darkest secrets and thoughts can be overwhelming. However, when it comes to a therapeutic relationship with a therapist our secrets and thoughts are completely safe.  That is because therapists are bound by confidentiality and therefore legally bound to maintain your privacy. The only situations that would permit a therapist to break confidentiality are if you expressed that you were in danger of hurting yourself or others, if there was danger to a minor, or if they were subpoenaed by the courts.  You should therefore always feel safe telling your therapists the truth otherwise how are they going to help you get to the root of the issues?

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2) Therapy is Non-Judgmental

This leads to the next important point which is that to get to the root of the problem, you need to feel comfortable talking about what’s really going on.  If you hide or omit details, you may be doing yourself a disservice because it’s often the things that we are embarrassed about that are the most important to explore. Many of our issues have roots in shame and guilt, therefore working through that in a safe environment is the very essence of therapy. One thing to remember is that if the therapist is experienced, your sorted details probably won’t shock them as they have likely heard something similar before.  This isn’t to say that your situation isn’t unique because it is, however, it’s important to understand that your counsellor or therapist won’t judge you for it.

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3) You are not sure what type of therapy you need  

You may have no idea what CBT, DBT, or solution focused therapy mean or what type of therapist you need and that is fine. It’s not your job to know what type of therapy is best suited for you.  If you have the right therapist, they can help guide you through what type of approach would be best suited for your situation.  In many cases this also depends on your goals and more details pertaining to your challenges. In any case, you do not need to be familiar with the various types of therapy prior to going to see a therapist.  Some people might have a particular therapy in mind and then discover that this may not be a good fit, so it’s better to be open and honest with your therapist about what is and isn’t working.  

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4) The therapist might not agree with you    

If your goal in therapy is to get someone to agree with you, then you are missing the point of therapy. Therapy would be significantly less effective if therapists agreed with whatever clients said. Instead, a good therapist will explore things deeper and challenge any unhelpful thinking patterns. This is done effectively using questions meant to ultimately empower you to make meaningful decisions while navigating a path forward. Your therapist is there to listen to you and guide you.

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5) Therapy will not fix you

Do not expect that therapy will be the solution to all your issues or that you will immediately feel happier.  Therapy is a process, and initially you might feel worse before feeling better.  This is because opening up can be emotionally draining for some people and will require longer time to process as therapy continues.  Ideally, taking care of yourself before, during, and after therapy is a key part of learning how to prioritize your well-being. One suggestion is to schedule some time to decompress and soothe what it is that came up for you through the therapeutic process. It’s also important to note that in some cases, therapy itself may not be enough and that’s okay. We are all different and needs vary from person to person. Be compassionate with yourself and your journey. Therapy is a starting point and a step towards better self-understanding.